Family of One Prepares a Salad for Eight

I love my new church and was very happy to hear that there would be Dinners for Eight, organized by a couple in the church wherein we could sign up and be assigned a dish and a host.

Faithful readers will remember that I am not usually a fan of such events, but, I thought it might be worth a try to have this experience.

At my old church, I actually had headed up an effort to begin such an endeavor, but the politics were just too overwhelming--what about a vegan host? what about children? what about children where alcohol was served? My nerves were frayed after one meeting.

So, when my hostess called this week, I was delighted to hear from her. She told me that I had been assigned the salad. Immediate flashback to my old church and how the older, slightly sad single ladies were always assigned the salad for church functions and they brought a huge aluminum pan of iceberg lettuce and weary sliced tomatoes from Publix.

Was this what I was supposed to do? Maybe this is what folks wanted for "salad"? Herein, our conversation--

MJS--What do you mean by salad?

Nice lady (NL)--Well, you know, some lettuce and maybe a tomato. . voice drifts off. .

MJS--(picturing the description above)--I don't think that I have ever prepared a salad for more than two people. I'm not exactly sure what you are expecting.

NL--(starting to wish she had called someone else first and thinking to herself that this call should have taken about two minutes from her day)--Well, I don't think this should be that difficult. Would you like to bring the appetizer?

MJS--(feeling like such an underachiever because she can't bring the salad)--No, I am determined to bring the salad. But, you see, I consider myself a bit of a gourmet cook. If you are expecting iceberg lettuce and a sliced tomatoes, this is probably not the best dish for me to bring.

NL--(now wishing that she had a nerve pill) I am sure you will bring something that we will all enjoy (and silently hoping that I am also medicating myself the dinner)

MJS--How about green leaf lettuce, arugula, and mache with sliced heirloom tomatoes, sliced mushrooms, and a homemade vinaigrette-I make all of my salad dressings.

NL--silence

MJS--Would that be OK?

NL--Are you making that up?

MJS--I hope that it is the kind of salad that folks would like, but if it is too fancy, I understand.

NL-You are like a dream come true. I can't believe you would bring something so lovely. That sounds absolutely marvelous.

MJS--I am happy to do that, I just don't want to look out of place if a more traditional salad is preferred (how diplomatic was that?)

NL--I look forward to meeting you and I hope that you will always be assigned to my house.

After this conversation, I call Mother to tell her about this and distract her from the ongoing sad saga that is Aunt Louise.

Mother--Lord help, that lady is sorry she ever got your name. Don't you know she was wishing she had just asked you to bring the beverages? But, you would make a production out of that. Can't you just act like you have good sense? Why would you need to go into all of that? Just put some lettuce in an aluminum pan and slice up some tomatoes.

So, for the record--here is the salad--
Mache/arugula/ green leaf lettuce
Grape tomatoes (from Homestead, so nice and fresh)
Cucumber
Squash
Baby bella mushrooms
Shredded carrot (more for color than taste)
Avocado
Pumpkin seeds

Vinaigrette made from champagne vinegar and basil oil.

BTW, no applewood smoked bacon--although it was tempting since you know how much I love cooking with it.

I'll let you know how it goes.