Family of One Goes to McCrady's

When in Charleston recently on one of my monthly business trips, I decided to branch out from the usual places I go where I am considered, well, part of the family. Sean Brock had just won the James Beard Award for the Southeast, so I thought it might be fun to give it a try. I was also desperate to sit with my book and just have a lovely meal and do some observing, something that always rejuvenates me.

Sometimes, my experiences dining alone in the fancier Charleston restaurants have been less than stellar. I am often treated much worse than when I started going to fancy restaurants alone in the early 80s although now I have the confidence to speak up. I had no reason to think that McCrady's would not be welcoming. I had dined there alone on a Saturday night ten years ago and was treated wonderfully.

So, it was a combination of sadness and something close to rage that I spent my first half hour at McCrady's. I was given a prime table on a banquette overlooking the room. I was at a comfortable space between two couples who were all sitting on the banquette. Both couples were around my age. One couple was eyeing me in a friendly and kind way. One couple was making out.

I was treated in a dismissive fashion by the waiter who did not introduce himself or make eye contact and acted as if he would prefer that I was dining at the Wreck of Richard and Charlene. On his second pass, I made the point--somewhat tactfully, I hope--that I am a big fan of the James Beard winners and try to get to as many of their restaurants as I can. I hated to be so potentially pretentious, but I wanted him to know that he was dealing with a neophyte who would not know a ramp from a shallot. Twenty minutes go by and all I have is ice water. In the meantime, he has served four tables and brought cocktails to a fifth.

I catch his eye and he frowns as he comes over to the table. "Sir, I find it bordering on disrespectful that you have not even taken my drink order after the amount of time that I have been sitting here. Is there an issue because I am here alone? Because I am feeling that there is something slightly hostile going on here."

Christ on a crutch, I hated to be so blunt, but I had time to think through what I was going to say and the letter that I would write to Sean Brock. Does winning a James Beard award give you the leeway to make your guests feel so badly? The waiter did not seem perturbed; however, within about five minutes, I was approached by a warm and kind waiter with the most appealing demeanor.

"Hello, Mrs. Southern," he greeted me. "May I call you by your first name?" I was so stunned by this turn of events that I could only nod. "OK, I will call you Miss Jo," he rather somberly stated. "Well," I said, "that is not really my name, but if you want to call me that, it's fine". And, indeed, I liked the idea of being called Miss Jo--it had a rather jaunty ring.

Ross and I very quickly established that I was thrilled to be in the restaurant and wanted to try as many flavors as possible, so we set up a mini-tasting. In the meantime, the couple on my right had become very engaged with my efforts to receive service and I ended up having the most delightful time with the Kellys from Minneapolis who were celebrating their 25th anniversary. We were laughing! We were screaming! We were discussing how to get to the aforementioned Wreck of Richard and Charlene! I was as happy as Bo Diddley.

And, when the food started coming, I was very happy that I had stayed--

***yellow squash bisque with wild ramps from West Virginia-lovely with a delightful lemon undertone
***Special of the Day which was a warm vegetable salad with the most vibrantly tasty, interesting array of vegetables with four or five dollops of various sauces (I actually replicated this at home with moderate success)
***Kimberly's stone crab with strawberry gazpacho, green strawberries, and wood sorrel which was one of the best things that I have eaten all year and for which I told them that need to charge at least five more dollars
***Country friend sweetbreads with Sea Island red peas and Wadmalaw onions

The dessert was one of the most interesting presentations, if not tastes, that I have ever seen (and that is saying a lot)--10 different flavors of sorbet about the size of a marble on ten petite ice cream cones and standing up in an especially made holder. There was coconut and basil thyme and blueberries and cream. . .frankly, the sorbet was not as memorable as the presentation, but it was a fabulous way to end the meal.

Ross and I continued to have a wonderful time and I asked him what had been going on that I had been treated so dismissively. He said that JJ had gotten a whole bunch of tables at once and just got overwhelmed. Then, when he got off to such a bad start with me, he just decided to have as little to do with me as possible. I pondered this. I was not happy that things had started out so bumpy and I felt that JJ should have not been afraid to make amends. But, I decided to implement one of my favorite tenets about dining alone--behave as if you are a guest in the chef's dining room, not a customer.

I asked JJ to come over and I told him that since he had been my waiter, I wanted to give him a gratuity and I discreetly handed him a ten-spot. I thanked him for making sure that I was taken care of and we ended up having a very pleasant exchange.

Now,I can hardly wait to go back! And, almost more importantly, it was a valuable reminder to me when dining alone--nothing is about you, but then again, everything is about you, so it is up to you, the guest, to make of the experience what you can.