Family of One Says Goodbye to Aunt Louise

As you know, Aunt Louise had been dying for a couple of months. One thing led to another and, for a 93 year old, she just didn't have the stamina to keep fighting. At least, that is how it appeared.

I told her goodbye two weeks ago while she was still alert enough to know that I was there. But, out conversation was definitely one-sided. Before I went in to see her, I sat in the parking lot and wondered what it would be like to literally tell someone goodbye. I can report that it is one of the most powerful things you will ever do. It was just a bit emotional, but more focused and energizing than I could ever have imagined.

Even though Aunt Louise was still around, she didn't say a lot. I ran out of things to say after about 30 minutes. I thought about what else I could say. I have only lost one other person through death who was incredibly dear to me-my beloved Bonnie Biller with whom I worked at Prentice Hall in 1996 and who died from lung cancer three years later. She was one of the most darling, perceptive, and kind people that I have ever known. I still miss her although I can feel her presence from time to time. I asked Weezie (as I called her) if she would look up Bonnie Biller when she got to heaven. In one of the two times that she actually spoke to me, she said, "yes, I will find Bonnie Biller". Her other comment was related when I reviewed, yet again, whom she would see in heaven (this is what the nurses will tell you to do). She rolled her eyes with something akin to scorn. She said, very clearly, "I will also see the people that I never liked". I assured her that since it was heaven, there would only be people she liked. She rolled her eyes again. That was the last time we really spoke to each other.

Aunt Louise's journey over the last six months has been arduous--told that she would have to leave her apartment because the church that owned it was selling it; being rushed to live in a nursing home; being rushed to a hospital; and then living in two facilities after the surgery that she had to have. For a woman who lived at least 20 years in one place at a time, this was a lot of moving around. When the nurse called me today to say that she had passed, I was truly happy that, at last, she could be at peace.

Aunt Louise was not given to warm declarations or yucking it up. She took life pretty seriously. She was an incredible craftswoman who could make a crocheted cover for my iPod or craft shredded coconut crust for a key lime pie like I will never taste again. She was one of my biggest cheerleaders and always reminded me that even though I am a family of one, I have been incredibly blessed with friends who are much better than family.

I felt just a tiny bit alone tonight, but I savored it. The next few days will be spent with my parents and being there for them which is as it should be, but still very taxing. The times that I had always dreaded facing as a family of one are starting. And, thankfully, they are not so bad. Love to each of you.